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    The Horny Husband's Plot

    A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife.
    He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water."
    She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!"
    He replied, "Thank God!"

    Bob, The Atheletic Sperm

    Once there was a sperm named Bob. When all the other sperm were just swimming around, Bob was doing sprints and lifting weights all the other sperms asked him one day, "Why don't you just swim around like us?"
    Bob replied, with a smirk, "well, when the time comes, I'm gonna be the first one there".
    The others told him it was just destiny, but he said it wasn't. So, the day finally came when they were called upon. They were swimming along when Bob pulled ahead of the rest. Suddenly he stopped and turned around and headed back.
    The others asked him why he turned around and he said, "back up boys it's a BLOW JOB!"

    Picking Fruit

    Two guys sneak into a farmer's fruit garden and start eating the fruit. The farmer sees them and comes out with a shotgun. "Since you guys like fruit so much go pick 100 of which ever fruit you want," said the farmer.
    The first guy decides to pick grapes. When he gets 100 he goes back to the farmer.
    The farmer says,"now shove em' all up your ass."
    The guy gets all 100 up his ass. He feels really bad, but then e starts to laugh.
    "Why you laughing?" asked the farmer.
    To which the man replied, "My friend is out picking watermelons!"

    In Search Of The Perfect Penis

    A four-year-old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad.
    That evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a penis. In fact, if you take a good look you will see this is a perfect penis."
    The next day the second five year old boy met the first five year old boy and called him behind a hedge.
    The boy exposed himself and said, "This is a penis. In fact, if it were three inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!"

    Boy Scouts, Lawyers, And Priests

    Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash.
    The pilot says "Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let's give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them"
    The lawyer says "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"
    The priest says, "Do we have time?"

     

     

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